Day 3

This morning I got a late start. Chronic fatigue doesn't care what plans you have made, nor does it care about the time frame for which you have made said plans. Today's plan only consisted of going to work, but still... I made it in and I am the only one here in my department. All of the other managers are out for one reason or another...So busy day ahead. But first? A thought.

This morning I got to thinking about some pressures I have already considered in my endeavor. First and foremost...what if I fail? What if THIS is like every other attempt I have made to lose weight. I have already allowed negative self talk to enter my mind...although I kicked it's ass right out again! There is that pressure. To FINALLY succeed. To FINALLY see and maintain lasting results. To NOT be another waste of time and money. It's not even something I really want to think about. For me...the right now is more critical.

I am a former collegiate athlete. I played softball from 12 years old and into my 40s. I was a natural. When I was young, I was a beast! I was confident! I knew there wasn't a pitcher I couldn't hit. I knew there wasn't a person alive that could get by me if there was a play at the plate....I was a catcher...and I was really good. My favorite coach, Scott Sadler, used to tell us to watch the ball all the way into the glove. Receive the ball.  Time and again I have been guilty of taking my eye off the ball. I have seen it happen to players at all levels. When it happens, mistakes are made. The ball gets by you....goes "thru the wicket" Scott used to say. If I start thinking too far down the road then I lose focus. I will take my eye off the ball. I can't afford to do that this time. I'm running out of time. So I need to "beast up" and have the confidence of my youth! So...yeah...there's that.

I gotta pee!